I'm nearly 30 years old, still single (which I only mention because my point hinges on it) and I've been a fan of Pokemon for my entire life, ever since I played Pokemon Yellow for the first time as a kid. I've enthusiastically participated in the fandom for as long as I've been using the Internet. At my middle school graduation, I wore a Pikachu-themed cap and gown, so you can understand the extent of my obsession.

As I've gotten older that obsession has cooled and taken on a more socially acceptable form. I no longer wear Pokemon clothing or otherwise let on that I have a more-than-passing familiarity with Pokemon, in fact when in real life someone mentions a post-Generation 1 Pokemon, I sometimes pretend not to have heard of it just to seem more "normie". Still, I quietly keep up with the fandom, and I play all the mainline games out of a sense of tradition, even if I don't end up sticking around for the postgame. All I retain of my Pokemaniac phase is my collection of original cartridges and a little figure of Surfing Pikachu that sits above the dashboard in my car. There's a certain sentimental value Pokemon has for me that will probably never go away. Also, I still coom to the hentai of it sometimes.

Recently, my mom has been telling me to get a girlfriend, so I downloaded Tinder and actually matched with a couple girls, one of whom agreed to go out with me on a date. I'm not the most attractive guy, so you can just imagine how homely this girl looked. Fuck I wanted to puke looking at her face. Guys, never trust a girl's photos in the app, you have no idea how many filters she's potentially used. In person she looked ugly af, she was a good 20 lbs heavier, and her face was practically cratered with acne. And this was her with makeup ON. Vomit.

Anyway, I thought I'd go through with the date just for the lolz; maybe I could get some practice for when I went on a date with a woman I was actually attracted to. But then... she brought up Pokemon. [cont.]