How do I make my posts more popular on this board?

I have tried all of the following:
>complaining about gens 1-8
>praising gens 1-8
>criticizing GameFreak
>praising GameFreak
>posting pictures of pokegirls
>calling others pedophiles
>posting pictures of shinies
>talking about how lame shinies are
>posting good ROM hacks
>complaining about those same hacks
>posting about Pokemon
>posting about irrelevant bullshit that has nothing to do with Pokemon
>making suggestions for moves that Pokemon should have
>suggesting that Pokemon are fine the way they are
>referring people to serebii for information
>bastardizing people for suggesting serebii to others
>posting ideas for new features for the games
>posting about how there's too many features in games now
>posting about how most features in these games are great
>posting about how most features in these games suck
>calling Cynthia Shirona
>calling Shirona Cynthia
>calling Leaf Green
>calling Leaf Blue
>calling Blue Leaf
>calling Green Blue
>calling Blue Green
>calling Green Leaf
>calling gen 5 the best generation
>calling gen 5 the worst generation
>posting memes
>making fun of people who post memes
>posting polls
>rigging polls
>making teams
>rating others' teams
>mocking others' teams
>posting tweets
>making fun of people who post tweets
>agreeing with others
>being contrarian whenever a lot of people agree on something
>posting "comfy" Pokemon images
>being pro-dexcut
>being against dexcut
>stating HG/SS are the best games
>stating all mainline games suck
>stating Gen 1 was the best
>calling people genwunners and embroiling genwars
>posting fetish threads
>posting nuzlockes
>telling people they have based taste
>telling those same people they have shit taste
>building hype for new games
>deflating hype for new games
and I make these posts as HQ as I can, but none of this seems to work. I have yet to find a formula that guarantees me getting attention. I just don't understand. What do you people actually like?