Lately I have noticed that Cradily, the generation three Pokémon first introduced in Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire, is somewhat phallic. I really love Cradily. TPCi should sell a vibrating Cradily dildo, dubbed the Cradildo. I want its feet to be suction cups, so I can take a shower while having it sticking on the glass door.

My arousal will race my heart with the vibration switched on, as I slowly thrust my butthole doggystyle back and fourth, being dominated by my Cradildo. "Who's your favorite Rock/Grass type Pokemon, bitch?" I imagine Cradily candidly blurting. "You, Cradily. You're my favorite fossil." I say out loud, hoping the roaring shower will dampen my voice so my sister doesn't apprehend my freaky fetish. Oh this is it. I unleash an unearthly orgasm as semen blasts out of my penis and into the flow of water dwindling down the drain.

It's seven penile pedals continue to gently wiggle in my colon, elongating my fulfillment, whilst acting as enema, therefore cleaning my unwashed butthole (I don't always wipe my booty after taking a poop).

Cradily alone can help boost merchandise sales, which is why I am calling on all of you to help us pitch the idea to Nintendo. And I know for sure you have my back.