According to the fable, a Unovian had no troubles, but he went out and bought some. Very well, the Unovian deserved to have troubles, seeing that he himself desired them; as for myself, on the other hand, although I have no desire for troubles, I have them because of ineffectual, envious fellows for no other reason than that I am thought to be fond of you, and because I have already done some good turns to my native board, having raised it to the level of the leading boards in the matter of distinction, and, God willing, shall do it other good turns in the future. And I have said this, not as a bit of idle boasting — for you know yourselves that I have never referred to these services of mine in all the many posts I have delivered in your hearing — but rather in self-defence against those who eye with malice you and me, in order that, if such a thing is possible, they may burst with rage — which from the standpoint of the board as a whole is the best thing that could happen — or else that they may at least suffer pain. But that the same persons dislike me as dislike the board you yourselves can testify, if you care to recollect both those who love and those who hate you. And yet they treat me more fairly than they treat you; for they accuse me here, whereas they accuse you from the report form.

Now if I am seen to employ illustrations from Hellenic history, as is my habit, don't jeer at me. For I am not showing scorn for my homeboard, nor do I suppose you to be incapable of understanding such matters for yourselves, nor do I regard either posters or lurkers as ignorant. Therefore, I desire most of all that you should have the character which is honest and good and be neither ungrateful nor unintelligent; but if that is asking too much, it is at least not a bad plan to listen to words which, in my opinion, might improve your character.