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Excerpt of how Pokémon Green came to be:>"Yep, that's me in the picture. I think it was '93. Fuck it, was it '94? Can't remember shit anymore. Back in the day Ishihara and I were snorting cocain like the plant was going extinct. It's all fuzzy." >"I don't remember the time. I just know It was two weeks away from Pokémon Green coming out or whatever the name of the game was." >"I was with Ishihara in a Shibuya apartment we had rented for cheap that used to be some child porn studio that got busted. Nintendo was pissed with us because we did not send them a beta test. Of course we didn't, the only thing we had of the game was a 60 lines .txt called 'New document'. None of us knew how to code and we still don't know." >"It was around 15 afternoon, Ishihara and I were expecting a whore we had hired with the dev money we had scammed from Nintendo. So there I was on my couch, high out of my mind, when we hear a knock at the door. Fucking Ishihara goes all excited to open the door and when we see it, it is two suits coming up to chew us out. One of them is a Tokyo Uni nerd we scammed, called Tajiri; the other one was an old suit with a mullet called Iwata who turned my coke table over, saw that we had spent a total of 20 minutes working in his Pokéman game or whatever and swore 'that as long as he lives, he isn't allowing me to have control of shit ever again'." >"At that point the Iwata dude was lucky. Were I not tripping, that shouting match could've ended in jail. I always had a loaded Nambo under my couch, Ishihara recalled, and for much less I had showed to people (...)."
Anonymous
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>>49481903 He looks like asian Willem Dafoe in that picture
Anonymous
>>49481903 >"At that afternoon that's how it was: Iwata dude shouting in my face unaware I was about to have a withdrawal and shoot him in the face, Ishihara doing fuck all like he did all his life and the Tajiri guy crying in a corner as he realized we had whored away his money. At one point Tajiri finishes reviewing the code — before I started relapsing and shot the Iwata asshole — and says he'll have to ghost compose the music I made for the game because it was just random shit I had sampled off the radio. He was in tears and cursing, having a fucking mental breakdown over his childhood dream, talking about how we couldn't make a worse piece of shit even if we tried." >"I was about to tell them to go fuck themselves and throw them off my small indie studio when F-U-C-K-I-N-G Ishihara decided to ruin both of our lives. He kneeled before Iwata and promissed he'd do anything as long as we got to stay in the project. I erupted and asked Ishihara if 'he'd suck them off for money if they demanded', but luckily I did not push further. I knew Ishihara would, he had done it before to pay a loan shark." >"Our luck was that Ishihara's dad was some former Yakuza accountant who came up with 'The Pokemon Company + GameFreak' scam to help Nintendo evade Pokémon-related taxes. In the scam GameFreak (us) were guaranteed a %property of the Pokémon IP, like the genius greedy motherfucker Ishihara devised. Iwata hated our guts with the fury of a thousand Suns, but he just couldn't do away with GameFreak. He was stuck with us forever and if the game was a steeming pile of shit, I said, the kids would just have to buy it anyway. Thus was born our company motto." >"The whore eventually arrived. The rest of the dev time was watching Iwata overworking his ass to the point of collapsing in the studio while we snorted coke and watched chinese violent porn with a hooker whose nickname was Pikachu. Just to say we didn't do shit, we at least named the franchise's mascot. (laughs) Anonymous
Hope it's gonna be in manga form like Tajiri's
Anonymous
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didn't you post this already
Anonymous
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>>49481976 especially the part with the whore
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>49481903 >>49481972 >"Now let's flash forward a bit. Game's released, it is a buggy piece of a shit that cost Iwata five to ten years of his life due to burnout-induced cancer. While he was facing death, Nintendo was trying to salvage Pokémon Green it with people who actually knew what they were doing. They came up with a gambling scheme and decided to make it a TCG, alongside adapting some episodic cartoon that we hired a failing tentacle hentai animating studio to animate. Like a stroke of luck, shit goes gold and people think I am unironically responsible for the success. No one contradicts them since Iwata is collapsed in the hospital and Tajiri was so mind broken he to this day 'refuses to get a mile close to a GameFreak studio or personnel, threatening legal action if forced otherwise.' >"Our next task was to make a new game to pump Pokemania and the dumb suits put me in charge because Ishihara at that time was in rehab" >"Of course, I do fuck all for the next five years besides drugs and whores. But I do hire a teenager who managed to code in a Pikachu sprite to follow the main character. Without anything to give the public, we decide to code in the Pikachu sprite and release it as a new game for full price" >"Of course, all of this half-assed job we did couldn't get very far. Nintendo was getting tired of this shit. The deadline to Pokémon Gold was growing closer and we didn't have jack to show. It was like Green all over again (...)" Anonymous
>>49483933 >>49481972 >>49481903 >"So picture this shit: Space World '97 is coming, they want a demo and we don't have shit. To make it all worse, Iwata is out of the hospital and fully recovered from the stroke. At that point the collapse he had cost him a liver, his wife and the guard of his two children. He wants to tear me a new asshole, pretty much" >"He comes in the Nintendo meeting calls me the biggest fucking idiot he's ever met and fires 'whoever thought a BGM composer qualified as game director'. He tries to get me fired but I tell him to suck me off, as Pokémon is the world's most valuable IP and I pretty much get to hold it hostage. I didn't have shit to show for the Space World '97, so I get everyone terrified that I'm selling my stock in the IP to fucking Funkoland" >"At that point I'm seeing Iwata's soul coming out of his body, like I broke the last inch of passion inside that man. To put salt in the wound, I make him publish an uncredited fan mod for the Space World '97 demo and then single-handedly unfuck the code so he could fit in a new extra region and a functional game for the Pokémon Gold & Silver release" >"When Ishihara was out of rehab, he remarked that I had turned Iwata into a walking dead man" >"Then we both laughed" Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>49483951 Holy kek, best thread in so long
Anonymous
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where do the bugs in anus parts come in?
Anonymous
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>>49481903 thanks for posting this again
