Can't Pokémon be cool again? Can't we have cool monsters and a cool looking protagonist living out a cool adventure by yourself through a cold, dangerous world based on reality but fantastical nonetheless?

Do we always need some "could have been cool but ruined by lame design quirk" monsters? Do we always need to wear childish costumes? Do we always need a faggy new mechanic that forces you to wear an oversized clown hat or makes you dance like a retard? Do we need to go on a theme park ride with your faggy friendly friends through an incoherent region designed to fill Mario stage quotas?