is autism supposed to be fun? everywhere on the internet autism seems to be praised as this gift from god ability to hone in on one single thing. and it gets so much praise to the point I feel as though I wish I was autistic and I start to look and reflect on my own life and look for and manifest things about myself to affirm and make true the fact that I think im autistic. but then I get so engrossed in looking at myself I start to critique and hold myself to a standard that I created that I feel I must adhere to. to maintain my autistic standing in my own head.
and it just makes me think is autism supposed to be fun? is mental illness supposed to be enjoyable and a fun ride through life where there is no hardship no struggle because you are just unable to realize the hardship because you're just too focused on the handful of things that you seem to obsessively love that you tune out the real world? I just can't take it anymore I feel like i'm going crazy