/vp/ - Pokémon » Thread #53408277

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ITT: Act as if Pokemon are real

Anonymous Thu 09 Mar 2023 23:02:23 No.53408277 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>53408454 >>53409113 >>53409251 >>53410767 >>53411918 >>53414108 >>53415455 >>53415651 >>53416189 >>53417069 >>53418397

What's the proper way to discipline a Magnemite? The little bastard always wants me to stay home from work and play with him so he steals my keys and makes me chase him around the house.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 09 Mar 2023 23:28:02 No.53408418 Report

Quoted By: >>53408454 >>53408725 >>53409124 >>53409392 >>53410767

whats the best pokemon to kill myself with

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 09 Mar 2023 23:33:10 No.53408454 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408277
>>53408418
Oddly enough, the solution to both your problems is bathing with the magnemite

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 00:16:40 No.53408725 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408418
Rent a Scyther and tell it to use X-Scissor on your neck, pretty sure you can easily get one from any lumberjack company. Although, I urge you to reconsider your life. Go to a brothel and fuck some Gardevoir, you'll feel better in no time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 00:52:32 No.53408921 Report

Quoted By: >>53410767 >>53414165 >>53415748 >>53416333

Can pokemon and humans make eggs together?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:21:28 No.53409113 Report

Quoted By: >>53409138 >>53410767

>>53408277
Pay day is legal right

Cuz there a few wild Meowth in the area that have to use Pay Day for food and am wondering if I should get in on that

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:22:44 No.53409124 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408418
Catch a nincada.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:25:03 No.53409138 Report

Quoted By: >>53409170

>>53409113
The coins are considered counterfeit but can fool some shopkeepers if you're lucky. I heard about this one black guy who tried to pay with Pay Day coins who got into an altercation with a police officer afterwards. He died and the media made a big deal out of it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:26:11 No.53409143 Report

Quoted By: >>53418468

Store's out of premixed poffin batter again, anyone got a good recipe?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:30:00 No.53409170 Report

Quoted By: >>53409176

>>53409138
Damn

I don't suppose the metal itself is worth anything?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:31:08 No.53409176 Report

Quoted By:

>>53409170
It's worth next to nothing unless you smelt it down yourself and make something cool out of it. Doubt you want to go through that much effort though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:43:06 No.53409251 Report

Quoted By: >>53409279 >>53410767

>>53408277
>>>/trash/54908325

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:47:41 No.53409279 Report

Quoted By:

>>53409251
>tripfags and overall faggotry
No thanks. Those are the kind of people who would pay thousands of ₽ for a night with a male Lopunny.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO e4d.jpg, 38KiB, 600x713

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:47:55 No.53409280 Report

Quoted By: >>53409298 >>53410767

>be me
>unovabort
>finally get gf
>she suddenly reveals herself to be a zorua and runs off laughing
Why must Arceus troll us in such a way? I'm getting real close to catching a Growlithe just so I can light those little bastards ablaze for their misdeeds.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 01:51:23 No.53409298 Report

Quoted By:

>>53409280
Find and catch the little shit so it doesn't pull that prank on someone else. Those cunts get off on those kinds of cruel pranks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 02:10:13 No.53409392 Report

Quoted By: >>53409424

>>53408418
Voltorb with self-destruct, can't go wrong with the classics

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 02:15:45 No.53409418 Report

Quoted By: >>53410626 >>53415603

Disassemble him.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 02:16:32 No.53409424 Report

Quoted By:

>>53409392
Better yet, an Electrode with Explosion. Go out with style.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 06:05:52 No.53410626 Report

Quoted By:

>>53409418
That's Pokemon abuse

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 06:27:28 No.53410732 Report

Quoted By: >>53410767

My Zoroark keeps hiding the blankets

What do?

lycanroc

lycanroc Fri 10 Mar 2023 06:41:32 No.53410767 Report

Quoted By: >>53418397

>>53408277
does he get alone for long periods of time with no one to be with? get them a partner (not neccesarily another magnemite, but that helps) so they can play with each other while you're away, at least that's my first thought
>>53408418
any ghost type that eats souls, at least then you'll be useful for something, even if just as food
>>53408921
I don't know, and I don't think there's a bastard out there that's stupid enough to try it, but be my guest
>>53409113
how would you feel if you got paid with monopoly money at the office, mhh?
>>53409251
*thumbs up*
>>53409280
falseflag, unofags are attracted to small, innocent pokemon, all of them
>>53410732
be a man and sleep with your dong out

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 11:32:47 No.53411915 Report

Quoted By: >>53413198 >>53416094 >>53418468

There's a Gengar in my walls.

Terrorising me.

Whenever I bring a girl back, he's arranged a collection of Dragonite dildos on my dining table.

I don't know where he's getting them.

I've got this cute little Eevee to get the attention of girls, but when it comes to fighting off Gengar, she's fucking useless.

What do, /x/?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 11:33:37 No.53411918 Report

Quoted By: >>53411924 >>53412063

>>53408277
These roleplay threads are always extremely cringe

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 11:36:07 No.53411924 Report

Quoted By:

>>53411918
And you're on a blue board that discusses a children's game. It's either this or the seemingly infinite supply of bait, genwar, and lolinigger threads, so get used to it.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO silcoon.png, 12KiB, 628x521

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 12:08:14 No.53412063 Report

Quoted By: >>53412071 >>53414197

>>53411918
>t.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 12:10:57 No.53412071 Report

Quoted By: >>53414197

>>53412063
why you gotta do silcoon like that bro

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 05735.png, 356KiB, 1321x716

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 15:58:02 No.53413198 Report

Quoted By:

>>53411915
Use the dildos to strike back at the Gengar.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO DC2236B2-4A09-48C0-A729-C57992ED (...).jpg, 1MiB, 1170x1162

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 16:22:48 No.53413332 Report

Quoted By: >>53418468

I don’t need to pretend. He’s the best homie one can ask for.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO d8240bef597e92d29a8146a964fd0058.jpg, 49KiB, 735x492

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 18:24:25 No.53414108 Report

Quoted By: >>53416094 >>53418468

>>53408277
Should you polish your starmie every day or no?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 18:31:27 No.53414165 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408921
If they’re in the human-like egg group they can

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 18:32:45 No.53414178 Report

Quoted By:

Back to >>>/trash/ with you

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 18:35:57 No.53414197 Report

Quoted By:

>>53412063
>>53412071
Nobodies favorite

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 86.jpg, 846KiB, 2560x1920

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 21:14:09 No.53415062 Report

Quoted By: >>53415726 >>53418468

/o/, I've got a problem.
>Looking for a GT86
>Find an orange one on Marketplace for £9k
>In Postwick
>Get a Corviknight taxi there, NOT cheap, but I can't drive there in case I'm bringing this back
>Owner comes out, brown guy, looks like he's from a far away region
>Turns out it's Leon, didn't recognise him without his champion threads
>Ask him if it's an Orange Edition
>He says yeah
>This is way too good a deal to pass up
>Play it cool, offer him £7,500 cash right now, get the ball rolling
>To my surprise, he bites my arm off
>Start driving my new 86 home
>Something seems off
>Radio keeps changing to "Every time we touch" by Cascada
>Nav keeps changing my destination to a romantic restaurant overlooking the sea in Hulbury
>Ignore it and try to continue home
>Car seems to have a mind of its own, and steers itself back on course
>Realise my car is possessed by a Rotom
>Can't drive back to Motostoke, Rotom won't let me
>Follows me everywhere

Now I'm stuck with this 86 with this Rotom in it. I think it's in love with me.

How badly did I fuck up?

It's not even a fucking orange edition, I checked the VIN. It's grey.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Blind Willie Witherspoon.jpg, 8KiB, 259x194

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 22:21:13 No.53415455 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408277
>Act as if Pokemon are real
You mean they're not!? Then what the fuck have I been playing all these years?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 22:44:42 No.53415603 Report

Quoted By:

>>53409418
It's not a robot, it's an alien

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 22:52:21 No.53415651 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408277
Red in the pink blue in the stink

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 23:03:37 No.53415720 Report

Quoted By: >>53416094

what's the best pokemon to make money with

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 23:05:53 No.53415726 Report

Quoted By:

>>53415062
Should've bought an RS Clio, they're from Kalos, so the electrics are always fucked anyway.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1676192776503099.jpg, 47KiB, 500x551

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 23:10:50 No.53415748 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408921
No, humans don't lay eggs you silly fuck.
>but human-like egg-group
Need I remind you retards that Pokemon are ALIENS FROM SPACE? DON'T BUY INTO THE PSYCHIC OPERATIONS, RESIST THE DECEPTION, USE YOUR BRAIN
THERE ARE REAL ANIMALS OUT THERE, YOU CAN SEE A COW

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 23:18:38 No.53415780 Report

Quoted By: >>53415797

Do you believe in those Occulture 'mons? You know, shit like Brute Bonnet, Iron Hands etc.
Always thought it was a crock of shit myself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 Mar 2023 23:21:01 No.53415797 Report

Quoted By:

>>53415780
Nah, it's all nonsense from the imagination of sound old lunatic.

We've got genetic records of what Pokémon exist in the past, there's fossils, and tonnes of other research. Why are these things mentioned in just one book, and never again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Mar 2023 00:13:10 No.53416094 Report

Quoted By:

Is it true that the Smoliv family eat olives? Recently caught one on my trip to Paldea but it doesn’t like any of the food I’ve given it.

>>53411915
See if you evolve it into Umbreon, girls love it even more than Eevee, and it’ll get rid of that Gengar to boot

>>53414108
I would do so regularly, Starmie can’t ‘see’ very well if it’s crystal gets dirty

>>53415720
Persian with Pay Day, it’s still counterfeit like Meowth’s but Persian’s Pay Day is better quality and can trick inexperienced sellers. Just don’t expect to get away with putting it in the bank.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Mar 2023 00:29:45 No.53416189 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408277
I wish pokémon weren't real, then I'm sure I'd be successful and happy in life

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Mar 2023 00:49:24 No.53416281 Report

Quoted By:

Anyone else tired of all these faggots pretending to be Pokemon on social network? "teehee i'm a flirty gardevoir" "look at me i'm a lucario" no you're not, your Gardevoir is so retarded it needs you to tell them what berry is good to eat and your Lucario would lose a fight against a Happiny. And of course they're always pretending to be the cool humanoid-ish mons or ghost types and never something like a Venusaur.

Even though a Venusaur posting chatters about what plants are growing around him and how to care for them would honestly be pretty based

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Mar 2023 00:58:34 No.53416333 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408921
Definitely can, girl I knew got knocked up by her Machamp

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1665552070839143.jpg, 21KiB, 334x328

Anonymous Sat 11 Mar 2023 02:50:44 No.53417069 Report

Quoted By: >>53418468

>>53408277
>inherited my dad's pokemon
>it's magikarp

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Mar 2023 07:11:57 No.53418397 Report

Quoted By:

>>53408277
>>53410767
I've done a bit of my own research on magnemite and I would like to add that if you plan on getting a companion for it, don't get beldum or its evolutions. Evidence not only suggests that not only are these pokemon from space, but that they also likely come from the same planet or celestial body. In fact, metagross are likely the natural predators of magnemite and its evolutions.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 11 Mar 2023 07:37:24 No.53418468 Report

Quoted By:

>>53409143
I use my Tropius' fruits for mug cakes. They're best when the peel has some black spots, add cinnamon on top and microwave for 10 minutes.
>>53411915
Espeon should hit 4x with Psychic, right? Raising one is difficult, but rewarding.
>>53413332
Coolio. I'd like to run a Docker container on mine (PkmnOS, THAT Ubuntu distro). Give the lil' dude a headpat.
>>53414108
Maybe not? The gem gets fingerprints easily, looking nice anon, it's such a stunning Pokemon.
>>53415062
On one hand I share your pain anon, deals like that suck. On the other, what did you expect from modern day Galar? I might move to the countryside myself.
>>53417069
I heard from the Johto Times that there was a new Exp Share item hitting the stores soon. I just preordered mine from Goldenrod, look into it anon.

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ITT: Act as if Pokemon are real