Hey guys, Dipshit Poketuber #84501 here. Have you ever noticed that *Insert Early Game Mon Here* is fucking awful in *Insert Game I Played For The First Time Over a Decade After It Released Here*? Well over the next two hours, through the magic of hacks, I'm going to show you how, by simply giving this Pokemon completely different stats/moves/abilities with a complete disregard for the artistic intent of those subhuman chinks at Game Freak, we can make *Insert Early Game Mon Here* good by the metrics of an arbitrary 1v1 fan fiction meta that was invented years after this game stopped being relevant and prove to my father once and for all that I am not, and a quote, a "constant reminder of the importance of pulling out"!