Hello, Finchinator. I would like to play a game.
For years, you have abused your authority as a Smogon moderator and community leader, treating the OU metagame like your own personal fiefdom and leaving its playerbase to suffer through the cancerous stall-infested metagame your tiering decisions inevitably create.
Perhaps the best example of your abuse of power was in 2021, when you lost to BIHI's unboosted Kyurem lead in only eleven turns, bruising your inflated ego and ruining your chances of winning the tournament that you had entered. Rather than learning from your misplays and structuring your future teams to adapt to a threat you hadn't accounted for, you took the nuclear option and called upon your cronies in the OU council to begin a suspect test, damning Kyurem to a tier where it was hopelessly outclassed for the fourth generation in a row.
The game is simple.
Before you is a computer running a modified instance of Pokémon Showdown with no chatrooms, logged in under a throwaway account that was muted sitewide for saying a transphobic slur in The Happy Place.
When the timer starts, you will have 15 minutes to go into the teambuilder and create a Gen 8 OU team.
When time is up, you will be locked out of the teambuilder and receive an invitation to play a single match against a stall player with an Elo rating of 1867.
For every turn this battle lasts, the temperature in your room will drop by one degree Celsius. Let the battle stretch on long enough, and your corpse will end up as frigid as Kyurem's heart.
If you win the match, the restraints keeping you in your chair will unlock, leaving you free to walk out of this room through the door to your left.
If you lose, forfeit, or open another computer application, the computer will turn off and the door will close, leaving you to suffer a slow, agonizing death until you freeze to death or starve - whichever comes first.
Redemption, or damnation. The choice is yours, Finchinator.
Time starts now.
