To everyone that gave me compliments: Thanks! I love you all but I don’t have anything specific to reply to you. Know that your words of encouragement help me keep on trucking on with this huge project.
>>56202758I may have been a bit drunk when I wrote that and did not even think to check what I had written. It’s fair if you don’t want to see what’s inside if ‟well written” is something I underline while the post looks like that. Though I didn’t lie about people saying it’s written well. Thanks for pointing out the thing about hyphens, I’ll have to now check everything in the story to see how many times I’ve messed that up. It’s an ESL problem with how hyphens work differently in my mother tongue.
>>56203667I try to make sentences as curt as they can possibly go, which is sometimes good and sometimes ends up with what you saw there, where the writing seems very anemic and falls flat and my grammar-laden style doesn’t help it flow smoothly. That second-to-last paragraph is especially bad. Some of the passive voice is justified, but some of it seems unneeded.
>>56204191I think the ‟short sentences” are the source of the repetition, if I’d use the proper noun instead of the pronoun things would get much worse fast. Another problem is that I switch subjects so often that pronouns become necessary to showcase who’s speaking when.
I’ve been thinking about rewriting the first chapter since a few months ago and this has given me the ample reason to do that, for an introductory chapter it’s really, unfocused and like a chore to read. I’d like to think the rest of the earlier parts aren’t like that.
And to everyone insulting other people for critiquing my work, please stop. Criticism’s made what I write better ten times out of ten and I feel fortunate whenever takes the time to point out flaws in my writing. I experiment a lot and I need to be smacked down to get back to reality.
P.S. By rushing I meant I couldn’t get my beta on it, the new chapter’s on ver. 4.
