>>56966646>I think this is maybe where we differno yeah, i really made the precision on purpose that, when i think "trauma", i think about experiences actually traumatic since it's the etymology after all
for me, the type of "trauma" you talk about were the ones i referenced later, which i don't call "trauma" myself but are still called trauma normally
so i agree with you on everything, these people went through more of a poisonous type of trauma, the kind who hurts enough the ego, but not the terrific type, and in that case, it makes 100% sense why they act that way because this type of "trauma" isn't the same
when facing a terrific trauma (i'll call them that), the ego is completely shattered and the person doesn't have many ways to get back control
meanwhile, they have more liberties in how to repair the damage, it just so happens they choose the worst way possible
compared to terrific traumas, that damage isn't as obvious so they don't necessarily even internalize that they got hurt and how
when i think about it, they actually go the opposite route of what you normally should do, it's almost like they try to reverse the trauma by forcing a new reality in which they can transform the poison into a healing potion, instead of repairing/accepting themselves, growing from it and let go of it
that trauma became part of themselves, they don't want to detach from it, they need to stay in control instead of accepting that they can't control everything, and that that trauma was one these things, thus making them unable to move on
instead, trying to change their own self-image is the only subconcious way their mind chose to heal, creating a completely new ego while the other just dies from that poison, but we both know this doesn't work since the new ego is still based on the old one, using its remains, and the poison never left, hence why after years, the damage comes back and they are never really happy in the end
