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Vaporeon is NOT the most compatible pokémon for human and pokémon breeding!

No.57038733 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Hey guys, I’m here to debunk the Vaporeon copypasta that’s been around in the Pokémon community. Vaporeon and the other eeveelutions are NOT compatible for human and pokémon breeding.

Vaporeon is not the eeveelution with the highest defense stat. Umbreon, Leafeon, and Glaceon all have higher defense stats than Vaporeon. A Vaporeon with the move, Acid Armor, doesn’t count.
According to Pokédex entries, Vaporeon can control water freely and it can melt into water. A Vaporeon can control the water into the human’s orifice, which can cause it to explode. Also, Humans bodies are 65% water. If a Vaporeon has the Water Absorb ability, it can absorb all of the water in the human body and shrivels up the body to death.
There is no such thing as a white Vaporeon. Semen doesn’t make a Vaporeon white nor any pokémon white.
You can’t get a pokémon pregnant and you can’t get pregnant by a pokémon. I know that you all are asking “what about the leaked stories and the NSFW fanart?”, those leaked stories were scrapped for a reason and the NSFW is not canon. Pokémon and humans are not genetically compatible to reproduce offspring together, not even pokémon in the Human-Like egg group.

For the the male poképhiles out there who want to have sex with a water-type pokémon, Poliwrath is a better water-type pokémon for male human and female pokémon sex, just avoid female Poliwraths with the Water Absorb ability. Poliwrath can learn Attract, Submission, and Dive, which can be sexual things. It’s also mentioned in one the Pokédex entries that Poliwrath has highly developed muscles that won’t grow fatigued, which could mean that its vagina won’t grow fatigued while having intense sexual intercourse. Its pre-evolution, Poliwhirl, have slimy fluids all over its body, which could mean that Poliwrath still has the slimy fluid inherited from its pre-evolution and meaning that Poliwrath is always wet due to the slimy fluid.