>>57707666I apologize in advanced for the haphazardness of this and the fact that it's only for the first chap, but hopefully its helpful for you.
I think you have a structure issue. I think you are doing your self a disfavor with how long you take to set up the hook.
The first real section isn't bad, but it is very "introductory" if you know what I mean. You've described Kuzey, told us he has a charcadet, and that he's going to live with his aunt. There's no real hook and there's only the barest hint of characterization.
The short part is good, more intrigue. Parents are obviously doing something and that makes me interested, but its not a hook.
The second section is basically catchup between Kuzey and his aunt and throws more bait with what happened to his parents. Honestly kinda diminishes the intrigue of what happened with you immediately telling, but that's not too bad.
And that's my main issue, its been almost 3k words and I haven't been hooked yet. The parent thing is interesting, but not enough.
This third section is what I have been waiting for, its very good. It jumps right into the action, gives a great look at Kuzey and what I assume is going to be a big part of his character dev, and introduces who I assume with be his traveling partner for at least a while. It also sets up a goal for the next chapter (shopping), which is kind've an issue. Like we can assume that the story will deal with what happened to his parents, but before Herri decided that they are going shopping Kuzey is aimless, just starting his journey. And that direction is missing from the start.
How many people do you think failed to get the next part or felt it wasn't enough after going through you 3k words of setup? This has an "easy" fix, you should rework the chapter so it starts at the third section where the action is. You want your hook as soon as possible.
Again, this section jumps right into the action, gives great insight into Kuzey's character and what he'll need to work on.
