>>57717590I realized last year that I wasn't. I had given up too much of myself in search for security and privacy, and I had too much taken from me in exchange. I found that the things I appreciated and enjoyed were meaningless, but I didn't want meaningful things defined by others. I wanted to find my own meaning.
So I took time for myself and got out of my comfort zone to try some things I had only experienced once before, in order to improve my own "definition". And in time, my skill in these minute test fields improved, to the point that I started accidentally intimidating and coaching my peers in the same fields. And these tests became appreciative hobbies, with experiences I could relate to others and remember. They became meaningful to me, defined by me. I didn't have to be afraid or ashamed of conversing about them, because they weren't so niche that nobody else would understand.
I'm not sure if I'm less depressed than last year, but at least I've got more things going for me now, which does make me happier. And I still want to add some more. Wish I could say the same for my Platinum save, I need to keep grinding my team to match my overleveled starter and it's so fucking boring.
