>>58343528It's just badly explained here, the "woman belong in the kitchen" remark is already over the line of so many people and any social group will revolt at the newfag for saying such a thing.
The explanation I like best is, imagine the "jerk" in this story is like subtly a jerk. Either he's wearing a something that makes you go "man what a douche", or has some behaviours that are "ok" but give off bad vibes, such as bringing up certain topics, or (in a plausible deniability way) using dogwhistles, or using weird body language.
People pick up on all of this, and it changes the atmosphere. He might start to invite some more friends that exhibit similar behaviors, he might have bad history with social circles that also hang out in the bar. Either way, if this person is allowed to stay for long enough, certain kinds of people will (consciously or unconciously) choose to hang out somewhere else, and be replaced by more patrons like him. If someone *then* makes the "woman belong in the kitchen" joke, the few unaware people are shocked, but say nothing, but everyone else knows they're in good company. At this stage, if you thought these people were "fine because they weren't breaking any rules before", you're too late to do anything about it.
As a bartender/moderator/etc, your job is to "vibe check" the people that exhibit behaviors that can impact the social atmosphere of the place you're moderating, and either keep them in check or throw them out early, before everything slowly morphs into a "jerk/nazi bar".
This isn't some kind of made up scenario. Unfortunately, I've moderated a few places where this has happened. In one case it was terminally-online people with severe mental issues that eventually became the majority, and made the community uninhabitable to even me.
Personally, I think it's fine to let social dynamics do their thing, though. No place stays "good" forever, and I can move on too.
