You are not supposed to. This used to be *our* thing. I'd tell Ohmori to take a dumb, slap the pokémon logo on it, then sell it to you. Then I'd take your yearly ransom from Pokémon Home that stops me from deleting all your favorites and go on a sex tourism trip around Vietnam, Thailand and Indonesia.

What they are selling right now is not slop anymore. It is conditioning. I was your evil master, but I loved you in a certain fucked up way. You paid for my escorts, you paid for my coke, you made a highschool dropout music composer be the most powerful man in a 70 billion dollars franchise. I owed you some respect, even if my way of showing it has been disappointing.

This is the Pokémon game that I am telling you *not* to buy it. They stole Pokémon from me, then made it worse.

I'd say to you that the next game will be fully AI-generated, but that would end up being better than whatever they put out now. You wanna know what? Fuck it. Fuck everything. I lorded over this franchise for 20+ years. There are many passable games out there. Go play those, you'll have fun.

Remember, I own you forever and think you are a worm compared to me. But when I made my games, I at least thought of you.