>>58507015I ignored any time the text would go into more in depth (something about Clair?) Well shit, I can't read all of that for I do plan to read your story as blind as possible (Crazedfag here), but from what little I could, I suppose it's dragging their core character/strength/wound through intentionally rough arcs and see if the character in question will break or not. The racism and the loyalty thing seems like an interesting thing to do.
I guess this Hyde will see a Unovan just being a good person and seeth trying to fit that image in his prejudiced head?
Ian (I think mc? Prince?) and his loyalty towards Po Town is also a cool aspect, though I doubt could truly inflict tension itself, for the title alone makes it clear he'll stick with Po Town long term, although, since he (probably) becomes a big shot in that Town, it's his ties and the many characters that will be brought strain from his loyalty wavering. I think you're already doing that, sorry if that sounded partonizing.
I also put my character through "humilation rituals" so to speak, so far this has been presented as him being a legitimate schizophrenic aside from the souls, being genuinely incompetent and even dying a few times (and painfully coming back).
I can't exactly do what you're doing right now, (the core being put under pressure), because my mc himself has a supressed personality (which will unfortunately rear its ugly head as time goes on) and has six souls/voices rampaging in his head and even partially controlling him at times.
Little bro just learns to cope with the suffering.
