>Y-you can't beat perfection haha
All powercrept to shit and too weak for even UU:
Torterra? PUBL (A trashmon even with Shell Smash)
Infernape? NU (and apparently shit even there)
Empoleon? RU (barely carried by ability)
Serperior? RUBL (purgatory)
>Gamefreak would just ruin their designs anyway, y-yeah
Or they wouldn't. See the Kalos starters.

No matter what cope you come up with, face the facts.They are fucked and probably won't ever get anything good. Snivy and Turtwig are especially fucked because even if we get another Legends game, one of them will be left out and have to wait another decade for any hope of anything.