I, PiKEKchu-sama, mascot of the HIGHEST-GROSSING FRANCHISE and JOBBER of the vidya industry humbly kneel to:

Shuntaro Furukawa-sama, former employee of The Pokémon Company, current Nintendo CEO, and my master.

TPC-sama, my one and only true love and other master.

Atlus-sama, who I shamelessly ripped off via SMT for my gameplay only for them to strike back with CHADsona.

PocketPair-sama, who my daddy Furukawa warned me about for they're developing Palworld.

Enix-sama, who easily manhandled me with Dragon Quest Monsters.

Yugi Muto and Kazuki Takahashi-sama, who anally raped me and first awakened my wish to become a TCG and merchandising franchise first and foremost.

Junichi Masuda-sama, who argued with me and his employees at GameFreak so hard, his departure started to cause the quality of my games to decrease and got me attracted to MEN...

Squaresoft-sama, whose incomparabily soulful JRPGs in the 90s crushed my ass-womb entirely to the point I STILL cannot SUPRASS them, even 22 years after merging with Enix-sama.

Bamco-sama, whose hour-long beatings from the recent Digimon games gave me uncontrollable orgasms so massive even the anal rape from Furukawa-sama can't compare.

Itoi-sama, for his Mother Trilogy is the superior JRPG series of my Nintendo MASTERS, and has single-handedly inspired more Indie RPGs than even I have...

Level-5-sama, whose power I am scared of (I am glad they stopped making Yokai Watch and didn't kill my beloved masters, as I was too scared to help them…)

Sandfall-sama, who revenge-raped and mindbroke me and my fanbase via E33 from the sheer pleasure of being made into an onahole after Legends Z-A FLOPPED in France. (I was so sad about it...)

and finally, Monolithsoft-sama, for they will FUCK ME up on the world stage once they release their Legend of Zelda RPG and expose me and GameFreak for the frauds we are. (God I hope so…)