>>28977145I was crying earlier while watching my vsinger oshi sing. She sang beautifully as usual but then I slowly figured out while listening that her night singing streams are all I have going for me at the moment. I have a job, decently paid but I basically work alone and my focus on work and everything means that everyone I used to know has either drifted away,
got married or just aren’t in speaking terms anymore.
Sometimes I wonder why I don’t just commit suicide when my existence means so little and is more forgettable than your average plastic utensil but then I realise my oshi has a singing stream scheduled the next day. I do love her so.
