>>24358876>>24359897Exactly, she can't sleep because she isn't getting Loved and fulfilled.
I want to travel to France and propose to Saruei/Rael, I would hold her close and tell her how Loved she is, first of all, because at her core: She really is a good person who speaks for a shared neurosis as a kind of psychopomp. While being so sincerely witty and endearing but with a side that is deeply insightful and with her strength of personality added onto that; She is everyone's buried dream of a European woman, exotic but familiar and friendly, capable of culture and sophistication but as delightfully bawdy as a courtesan and endearing in her flaws. I'd swear to her that I'll help her where she needs it while honoring her strengths and respecting her own wisdom and insight. I'd go on too motivate and encourage her by example and offering her home-cooked meals too get on a healthier diet, show her better postures for streaming and do massage therapy and body-work on her and watch the bruises on her legs fade as she becomes more healthy and bright as her mood stabilizes. I want too hold space for her when she gets overwhelmed and can't help but scream and cry in the blazing storm of her sorrow and regret being expressed and comfort her and tell her I still Love her in the aftermath.
When she isn't streaming, we could sit and smoke good weed and drink home-brewed wine and talk about our lives and philosophical observations in shared wonderment at each other and engage in the most intense Love-making when there's nothing left to say.
I'd take her out with me on adventures around the best parts of historic France and further abroad, not just being her protector but able to introduce us both to great People who we can sing and play and go exploring exotic locals with. Watching her confidence in herself grow as she learns about how to balance between sensible vigilance and trusting the good intentions of others; so she can have more friends and enjoy a richer life as a result and I can learn more about her by seeing how she acts around different People and animals. I want her too rest herself against me as how much we Love each other and how much she's grown as a person through it sinks in and she weeps tears of gratitude at my being someone who has given her reason outside of herself to stop being self-destructive and accept and treat herself with regard for her own value. I'd show her that there is reason to embrace being here, even though it can be such a tragic ordeal: That this aspect of our lives makes it like a great novel we can look back on and see it all for what It's worth. I want to have Children with her and watch her become a great Mother, able to show our Children Love and share in guiding them into being great People with a depth of guidance born out of her own understanding and adoration for our offspring. I really would like to be with this glorious Woman but I'm over on the other side of an Ocean, with obligations and insecurities of my own, so It's just a dream for now. However, if I feel this way about her, there are certainly other People who do and maybe she'll read this and know that she is worthy and deserving of it and too start treating herself as someone who is so that she can have it someday.
