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I can't stop thinking about her. I want to know where she is right now. I want to know why she hid the dog. I want to know if she's sleeping well, or eating well, or what she does to entertain herself in her spare time. My entire 10 hour shift is spent thinking about Yuko. When people come to talk to me during my shift I get frustrated that they broke me out of fantasizing about Yuko. I fantasize about winning the lottery only so I can send red SCs to Yuko. I check the thread whenever I can sneak a look at my phone and CTRL + F "Yuko" and "Yuyu" on every archived thread for the whole day. I pretend to take bathroom breaks so I can look at the thread. I leave work early to watch her. I call in sick to watch her. The one time I missed her stream because it was early, I was in the worst mood I can recall from recent memory. I haven't spent time with my parents in months even though we live together. I can no longer enjoy the video games I used to play because I'd rather be watching Yuko. I reply to every baitpost in the thread to defend her honor even though it's meaningless. Any time someone insults her I take it personally. The further away from a stream we are in either direction is directly proportional to how bad of a mood I'm in. Any time she replies to someone on twitter I get jealous. On the bombshell weekend I read every single post in the thread and followed every possible lead to try and learn as much as I could about her. Finding out that she's hiding so much from me had me sitting there for hours reading every single post about her in the last 2 years.
I feel like I should tack on that I have no delusions of ever meeting her online or in person, just in case people think I'm dangerous.
All of this is true and this is not the first time I've had a mental breakdown. Before it was because of visual novel characters and not real living humans though. I think I legitimately need meds but I don't want to deal with that because so far I'm still functioning in society and no one seems to have noticed I've gone mad.
