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Chat, be real with me, is it gay to cry as a grown man when bad shit happens to you? My judo master has passed away a few weeks ago. Old fuck was like a grandfather and a friend to me, knew him since i was a tit sucker. He even helped me rebuild our roof after a hurricane. He was a beast of man, a pinnacle of what a male should be, strong, charismatic and family oriented. Today at his burial when i saw him in his casket i fucking broke. He was always in good shape even in his 70, always smiling always laughing, but he was shriveled up, he was so tiny in there and he looked so sad and pale. I saw him defeated for the first time in my life. I just got back from the funeral 20 minutes ago but i already smoked 16 cigarettes. My lungs hurt so much, but atleast my heart doesnt hurt so badly now.
Sorry for the blog, but i feel a bit better
