>>29353999Oh, another thing I noticed more than anything else, was...ugh, I don't know how it's called in english, interjection maybe? This, basically."Pomu, however, found". You use it on some parts but then there's:
>"When he emerged exhausted from the struggle and victorious,...", which could definitely be>"When he emerged, exhausted from the struggle, yet victorious,..."Idk maybe it doesn't make any sense, and I could definitely be just spouting shit, since I mostly rely on instinct to structure my sentences, but it just seems right to put interjection there.
One thing I like to do is stop after finishing a sentence/paragraph and just read it out loud, all theatrical and slow, just to see if it flows nicely.
