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Welp, this is it folks. This is how it ends... I'm very ill, my health is gradually deteriorating, and the clock is ticking, so to speak. I simply cannot afford to spend any more time than I already have maintaining the channel. This is my absolute final video to say goodbye before I stop using this account. So feel free to unsubscribe if you haven't already, there will be no more videos coming from this channel. Farewell.
Now I'd also like to take this moment to address a few things that people have been bugging me about. People that keep asking about my illness, sorry, I really don't like to talk about it in detail. But I will say it's not cancer or ebola, or leukemia, or AIDs or any STI for that matter. Its a problem with my central nervous system. I know that doesn't tell you much but that's about as much as I'm willing to share. Not just because I'm a very private person, I've been talking to doctors and other patients with horrible illnesses such as cancer and and most of them agree that talking about your misfortune more than necessary only serves to suck the life out of whoever's listening, especially yourself. That's not to say you should ignore and forget the reality of your problems, just that time and energy spent brooding over it could be spent working towards better things.
On that note a lot of you are wondering what I've been up to since I quit TF2. Well I've been busy doing boring real life stuff. Dealing with my illness, sorting files, whatever. Other than that I've been spending a lot of time with family & friends, getting out, trying new things. Going on adventures, just living every day like its my last. I don't always have the energy for that however so I've also been dabbling in the arts, trying to channel some of the creativity I put into Youtube into something more substantial and original. Not sure if anything will come out of that, but its not a bad way to kill time. Which brings me to my next point. In my PSA video I said that I would quit video games and Youtube and that you should do so yourself. I didn't word that quite as well as I would've liked to in retrospect and I apologize if you took it the wrong way. I retract that statement.
What I should've said is if your excessive usage of video games is preventing you from doing more important things, than you should probably play less video games. Or be prepared to take responsibility for the consequences. So play as much as you want, video games are great I fucking love them. Just remember that video game addiction is very real and just like any other addiction, it can be destructive. Take it from me, I played TF2 for something like 8000 hours over the course of 6 years and that's just gameplay time, that doesn't include the other ways I spent time on TF2 outside of the game itself. I haven't played TF2 for months now but I still watch TF2 videos and read the patch notes, talk about it online. And I have vivid dreams of uncrating unusual hats. Even I find that bizarre; I don't play this game anymore, yet it's still such a huge part of my life.
I am however completely done with TF2 as of now. I've severed whatever ties I have with the game. Physically, emotionally, I gave all my items away to my friends, I don't care what happens to them anmore. In the case that I make a complete recovery from my illness I highly doubt that I will be coming back to TF2 or this channel. That doesn't mean I don't value my experiences with TF2 and youtube, of course I do that's why I'm here talking about this. I just want to put all of this behind me so I can focus on the bigger and better things out there that are waiting for me, and I'm sure are waiting for you too. I'd like to say one last time, thanks to everyone that has supported me and sent me their thoughts and kindness. Thank you, it really does mean a lot to me. I'm gonna miss you guys.
So, take it easy. Read books, don't do drugs, lift weights, stop jerking off, fist fight your dad... see you space cowboy. Bang! (in Japanese)
