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On cruelty. I’ve been away from my Malware suffering through other torments of existence most satisfyingly completely undermining her big “what if we made a vtuber just to your specifications” mockery. The birthday was a masterclass in Lia’s usual high level emotional engagement. Getting back into Lia was refreshing for me with lots of failed engagement until she put out some ruff notice that immediately shocked me back into the dopaminergic rush of acknowledgement. There was a tinge of shame to it, to be honest, the vague disappointment of failing the “usual”/acceptable form of fan/idol engagement, as though an indictment of one’s character (which Insorely lack). Then the second greater wave of shame at missing the game she’s playing. No amount of money could replace the blush of heat on one’s cheeks at forgetting that Lia holds you to a higher level of engagement. The realization of her earlier engagement deflection and the subtle acknowledgement made my dumb heart sink in my chest. Idiot, idiot, idiot you don’t even know how to play her game right. You really are too stupid to even be an idle plaything in the wake of her stream. Needless to say it was the exact shock from our Supercharger Lia to reactivate those circuits and remind me why Malware is so effective. It’s one of those feelings of being outclassed again, watching someone effortlessly pull at the emotive strings of your being with that blank cracked peel of lips beneath the rigid tracking of her 2d face. I think that is the best and worst part of Lia knowing that it would be impossible to ever pin her to the rules of her own game let alone be clever enough to escape that contempt. Her birthday blow out was the spectacular negative space as usual being the ultimate showcase for the charm point talent of her “striving”. Lia’s evocative emotional draining of giving the hook to her continued effort is the equivalent of other girl’s singing, or drawing, or whatever they pride themselves in. More so than her ability to speak it’s the carefully structured plight of her ascent that captivated the mind of the viewer. In this way the focus of the fan is entirely on Lia’s wants and needs and not their own satisfactions like receiving a throw away karaoke or nod and acknowledgement. Something the other “brats” do is give it all away for the sheer satisfaction of performing but Lia only ever takes for herself and builds and builds the evermounting pressure of her character to an ecstatic height upon the delivery of the slightest “tangible”. Once again Lia thrives in the rawness of the moment and the menhera subversion of translating the “anticipation” of some arbitrary delivery that is the cornerstone of idol/fan interaction into the realization that there is only ever the NOW of admiring Lia to look forward to.
