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honestly prior to all of this, i thought the "sonny is a pomudachi" is just a meme. Although I aware that sonny speaks about every EN in high regard, he was never the kind of person who would make it obvious who he's favorite with the exception of alban for the shippers. I thought he only looked up to her normally, like a liver to liver kind of situationship. but oh boy was I wrong. It was my first time hearing like that. I have seen him cry twice but those cries werent out out of sadness, he was just moved with the story of the game. He rarely shows his vulnerable to his viewers so when his voice started shaking during the call ins I broke down. I wasnt distraught over any graduations, but of course I was sad because NijiEN become what it is with these people. But when sonny started talking about how much he looked up to her, I just couldnt held it in. I bet the people who saw me crying while I was on my way home thought I was dumped by some guy... I started thinking that he mustve loved her very much. His message to pomu reminds me of all the thoughts I have for him that I keep hidden in my drafts. I kinda relate in a sense that I feel the same way he feels towards her. It's sad... it's melancholy but at the same time it's magical. To love someone like him at a great extent. I hope he gets to find happiness that he deserves someday even if it's not with me. Love you, my man. Please do know that if you die, my heart dies with you. I hope one day, I could tell all of my feelings for you without holding back.
