>>84322035Well this is good but it has some problems here and there.
For once, i think the formatting of the dialogue is a bit awkward, since it tends to get lost in the middle of descriptions. Its not unreadable but it makes you second guess yourself. For the context of the story i think its serviceable for the plot to be this barebones but i think anon here is...weirdly dumb?
He knows what a mating season is and has read about it on forums...yet he doesnt know what she wants? but then he finally realizes? if you want to iterate on this id say you should fix that. He knows what she wants (dick) but he's a bit miffed about dicking his sister.
I could comment how there's not enough of an emotional hook since all we get is two scenes but its smut, that's just dressing. It is a good place to beef this up.
Aside from that, the sex is mostly good even though i personally find weird the bulge but that's just me. Good work, and dont feel bad on taking time to write stuff, rome wasnt built on a day
