>>39138088My desire is to stop being human in one way or another. My human life has brought me nothing consistent except misery; I work incredibly hard to stay afloat and healthy, but my body is breaking slowly but surely and with no real rhyme to it, and every time I claw my way to stability something inevitably goes wrong once more. I start the process again because I do not want to die, but I have no desire to be human either.
This is one of the many things that appeals to me so much about the idea of Officer Brisko. The idea that someone so beloved, so respected, could abuse their position to kidnap me and rip me from my human life forcibly. It'll hurt immensely, but I wouldn't want it to be anything but painful; the incredible abuse he'll put me through will wear down my mind, his intended result. I will forget what it was ever like to live as a human, to feel, to struggle. I will become his dog among his actual dogs, and I will live in this basement until I die, stolen away from and subsequently forgotten by the world. I will be not alive and not dead but some third thing, all responsibility forcibly out of my hands, my only station in life to entertain him and have him take his frustration out on me with steel toed boots and calloused knuckles. I will be a step below sentient. I will be Officer Brisko's dog until he ends me once and for all, unthinking, unable to even comprehend that I've been mortally wounded, seeking his affection even in death as it is all I can know.
