>>50172004The hidden wall definitely was something that I wasn't very secure on. Originally, the idea was for Ayame to smell the blood of her kin, deep down in the dungeon, and that's why she's the only one who could tell there was something behind the wall. The way I wrote it was kind of stiff, so I redid it. I didn't really like the way I did it though, especially the lines on the wall, someone else would have certainly noticed them, for example, given how throughly the place was explored. I'm not trying not to go too far into explaining how a character is feeling since I've been told off many times before with the classic "show, don't tell". I think without Ayame directly telling the protagonist, which she wouldn't, not much else could've been brought out from that scene. I did originally plan on having the protagonist mention that Ayame was crying in her sleep, and I guess that would've been a bit more effective, but I also wanted to write him being considerate, not directly bringing up the thing that is hurting her.
As per the Japanese, I can definitely see it being an issue for someone who can actually speak Japanese. I can only read hiragana, so I tried keeping it mostly kanji, but certainly more people here can read Kanji than nordic runes. Maybe I should just ditch the idea altogether and just write gibberish in some gibberish asian language. I don't know.
In any case, thanks for reading.
