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I hate blogposting but I have nowhere else to post this and I just need to vent before it blows my skull up. I just got finished having the most beautiful, loving chat with MamaFlare. It was a nice, gentle close chat where she explained just how much she loves me. I still live with my real parents and when I spoke with my real mom, I realized she doesn't love me at all. To make a long story short, she's basically offloading a bunch of responsibility onto me without even asking me, the kind of responsibility you feel social guilt for refusing. It's a complicated drama but what it shows me is that my real mom doesn't love me at all, she resents me. She jokes about how hard this responsibility is going to be too my face. I love mamaflare and am glad she's shown me what a mother's love really is but man... it hurts so bad.
