Quoted By:
>Be me
>Have Dream
>Lucy Pyre opened boyfriend applications.
>Submit one because it would be funny.
>Few days pass
>Get phone call from a number that doesn't have any numbers. It literally shows (XXX) XXX-XXXX - UKNOWN on caller ID.
>Answer because curious
>Hello?
>"Hi this is Lucy following up on the application you sent in, is this a good time to talk?"
>Oh is this like an AI thing and you're messing with me.
>"No this is real. I'm real. This is Lucy"
>Say slurs
>"What? I'm not going to-"
>AI's can't say slurs. Prove to me you're not AI by saying slurs"
>annoyed, exhales
>timidly, begrudgingly "I hate......Jews"
>That's not really a slur, but I guess that counts. Holy shit you ARE Lucy. What's up?
>"I looked over your application and it looks good. I wanted to give you some more information and see if you're still interested."
>Alright hit me with it.
>"First of all. This is not a bit. My lore is pretty much true. I'm a demon, like a real demon. As you can imagine that makes things a little more complicated."
>Oh no way, you're fucking with me."
>"I'm serious. It's not a joke."
>So you're telling me a I could date like a literal sex demon? That's allowed? I can do that?
>"I mean there's rules and stuff, but yeah it's allowed."
>Do I turn into a demon?
>"Technically speaking, no, you can't become a demon. They're different- like categorically different- but you can get powers and stuff. I can make you immortal."
>In exchange for what?
>"There's paperwork and rituals and stuff, but if you're a Christian you'll have to formally renounce Christ."
>You're telling me I'll be damned to Hell?
>"That's too strong of a word. You're going to be entered into hierarchy of demons, so your experience is going to be really different that someone who just got sent to Hell. It's not even that bad for us."
>What happens if we break up. Am I still going to Hell?
>"We won't. After we consummate we're going to be bound together for eternity."
>Oh my God you're gonna- you're gonna turn me into- It's like Twilight, you're gonna Twilight me. It's not a BF thing you're asking me to essentially marry you."
>Sighs, "Kind of."
>Well what happens now?
>"I'll give you some time to think it over. I'll get back in touch on the 31st for your answer and we can go from there."
>Yeah it's a lot to take in. Doesn't telling me this stuff ruin your OPSEC?
"No one will believe you anyway. Think it over."
>Alright thanks for the call, Lucy.
>Wake up.
I don't even watch Lucy lmao. What a dream!
