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The number of reasons for me being alive is less and less. Death seems scary, what comes after death seems scary, the missed opportunities seems scary but being alive is just such a pain. Honestly if i had a gun i would have probably done it already. It seems so easy, just put it to your skull, pull the trigger and the burden of being the only sentient species in the all of everything will fly away. I dont even remember the last time i daydreamed about reaching my 30s. Its such a pain, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuck
