>>37340652I'm not mentally ill because I know I'm mentally ill. I exhibit various symptoms of mental illness that stem from my inability to reconcile my perceived reality with the experiences I'm being told I'm experiencing either through other people or my own perception.
For example at noon every spot on both sides of my block were taken. Thirty minutes after I looked out the window seven vehicles had moved six of which were on the side of the street I needed to move my vehicle onto to remain within "legal" parking status.
Now this could be a number of things. First and foremost it could be a simple visual hallucination on my part that is perceiving vehicles occupying spaces when there is no actual vehicle there and the resulting. Alternatively it could be a Zersetzung style harassment program enacted either by the individuals that make up my community or perhaps even a government agency or maybe even some freely associating .org operating in unison. Perhaps it would just happenstance and the individuals who had parked their vehicles there all simple had concluded their business within thirty minutes of one another.
The point of the matter is that while benevolent and in my favor this time it has been malevolent in the past and I lack any meaningful mechanisms of self verification regardless of the truth behind the occurance.
Tying this back into the chuuba experience I wrote briefly in
>>37319785 similar situations regarding the loss of verifiable intention behind "synchronistic" action. I write about my perception of events because I've deluded myself into thinking that others might get something out of it or at the very least enjoy seeing things from a different perspective. I feel ungrateful if I can't give back something in the very least to the experiences I'm being offered to have either intentionally or through my own misinterpretation.
Further further tying back into the chuuba in the usual schizo reach of association the FlavR side project culminating in the "Male Branch" associated with Lia + Beatani imagery is now producing a continuation Daddochama chuuba from the high effort /here/ mock/ironic content tying back into the Rinkou Ashelia chosen name for her chat "Operators" with a reading of "Operators and Things the Inner Life of a Schizophrenic" which presumably is in no way whatsoever related to me or some perceptibly therapeutic process of the "Magic Theater" approach that has been employed upon me.
