Quoted By:
I truly believe I'm going to make it with my oshi. I know it's insane, but this is the only way I found out of the disaster my life has turned into. I know everything is against me, from my own conditioning, to those around me, to the posters on this site and others, to time and space themselves -- but this is the only way I can live.
On some nights I snap out of it and catch myself naked in the moment. I realize the insanity that is to fantasize all day long and sometimes talk to myself for hours as if anyone was there. Things are never going to be what I hope them to be, I'm old enough to know that. But I can't keep letting my fears get the best of me any longer. If it means going past the person I used to be, I'll face all the ugliness that's become part of me. I don't want to die, and I don't want to be hated, but if risking that is the only way to live, I have no choice. And if I have no choice, I want to embrace the path I'm threading with my heart.
Win, and you live. Lose, and you die. Don't fight, and you can't win.
So fight.
