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God I wish Zen acted like a manipulative sociopath towards me, constantly trying to tear apart my self-confidence and belittle me. Making sure I never forgot how much she hated me and thought I was worthless. That way I would stay devoted and subservient to her forever. She would treat me like crap, yet still manage to make me feel special. I would worship the ground she walked on and serve her for the rest of my miserable life.
