>>84906496You seemed very nice from the very brief time that we spoke, but I started avoiding you because I've seen time and time again what happens to people who like the play the villain especially as crass as you and I didn't want to be associated with that, and I've ended up avoiding a lot of people who were associated with you openly because I didn't want the others I knew to be exposed to your outside persona. I don't think that was a selfish thing to do, because it's not reasonable to expect everyone to stretch their whole being thin just to please everyone around them, and sometimes you have to make uncomfortable decisions and cut your losses to reach your own ideal.
Nobody is going to understand the real you when you cake yourself in tons and tons of layers of irony in some weird attempt to make a joke, I know because there was a time I wanted to do things like you did but I realized that it was because my self-esteem was so low that I believed I wouldn't care if people started shitting on me for what I attempted to do. I'm lucky that I managed to make a huge turn in my life thanks to the friends I made, but I've seen people self-destruct because they either end up going too far with their role even if its meant to be ironic, or because nobody genuinely wants to support them and were only attracted to you just to watch you make a fool of yourself. Hell I knew someone who thought it would be "funny" to leak confidential documents because he was so into the heel role and he lost every single professional connection and most of his friends as a result.
I'm sorry to anyone who thinks anything I'm saying sounds mean but sometimes you really have to step back and figure out what you're actually searching for in life. The "what do you want to be doing in 10 years?" is a stupid question in interviews but it's actually really important to deciding what you want to do with the time you have right now when sorting out your personal life. Think if what you're doing is worth it. Figure out what's going on when you encounter the first sign of trouble, think if it's fixable, think if it'll only get worse if you keep doing what you're doing without any changes. Is it really what you want?
That said, I hope you do come back better for yourself, whatever you seem to think "better" is. I hope we can talk again someday, I just don't want to do it at the expense of my own life and goals.
