>>58963622Yeah, you're right. I don't think it's my time. I'll aim to reduce my caffeine intake, it's my last substance vice. I quit smoking. It's been 2 weeks, I haven't touched tobacco once since.
>>58963668It's just it wouldn't be the first time things turned around for the better only for life to kick me down. The last big one was finishing film school and being excited to find something I loved doing only for everything to shut down and annihilate my hopes and dreams with COVID Lockdowns happening right as I was slated to join in on productions... I've been clowned on like this so many times before. Parents divorced when I was 10 was the first, literally 2 months before I told my parents I hope we'd be happy together forever. High school sweetheart who loved me and we never fought, we never had problems, left because she had to move to another continent. So many times... Tired of it, to the point that I just find it funny because it's the only thing I could do to cope with it every time it's happened. But enough. It isn't my time. I won't let it be, not when it feels like it's the first time my mom really cares. I won't let one of the few times I can truly feel proud of myself be the last time I get to feel that. I know I'm on the right track.
>>58963672I won't. I have faith that I'm finally on the right path, that God is guiding me this time and I'm listening instead of running away. It was a moment of bitterness, a habit of the past that need not repeat itself, because I'm not the same as I was back at any of those times in my life.
Sorry anons, the menhera is trying to tear me down but enough. I will live life to the fullest and achieve my dreams. I will not try to escape from reality anymore, but confront and embrace it, grit my teeth, deal with the bad and live for the good and the kindness others have shown me. Live to give kindness and compassion always to others. There's so many things I want to do, and dreams of my own and dreams I share with others that I won't let pass in a moment of weakness. I will conquer my demons. I will make my dreams happen.
