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>>89139318I think the title you have has some good potential, but maybe you can switch where the specific tarot goes. Like you can pick an appropriate card to title the chapter that more or less correlates to the themes or types of events Mio or other characters face. The main series would still need a title, but there's enough things you can play off of for decks to find something that suits you.
I like the supernatural concept a lot that you have going, and there's a lot of mystery behind the main event that has me wondering where it might go. That said, I'm not sure enough agency is being given to the religious aspect of the world you're writing. There is kind of a disconnect between the modern Cover Corp world the characters live in, and the apparent older faiths that are still present. The concept that kamis do reach out to people and you listen, is something that should either be further explored, or have Mio internalize how much stock she puts into those beliefs.
Mio is someone who if at her wits end, will fall back on those types of things, but it might be fun to allow her to explore other solutions first.
>She tries sleep aids, they make her motion sickness worse, result in a not restful night of sleep, and leave her groggy in the morning>She takes a chance getting a reading from a woman with a table set up in the park, the reading is not super clear, but it could clue Mio in that maybe something bigger than she thinks is contributing to her nightmaresIt might also be nice to feed into her living status and how it makes her feel, to give some more essence to what happens. The scene at the shrine was a good touch with the subtle message, but I feel like you can take the concept further and make it shine more.
I like the idea and the fluff that might ensue, so I hope there will be more at some point and that the feedback is helpful!
