>>82884175Glad you like what you see so far. I'll keep what you said about magic in mind, definitely wasn't conscious of that when writing. I'll make sure to fix those errors also. This fic is a bit of an excuse to practice some action scenes and get my feet wet with that stuff since I have plans for an action-focused fic in the future.
That is the last flashback for a while, going forward, it is a smidge more SOL>>82896191Thanks for reading. The next part is coming sooner than you think and there'll be some drama.
>>82897714I appreciate the feedback. I am admittedly trying something new with the order in which events are told. Totally possible that it might not work out in the end. But you will get more Shion and Anon developments in the present. I see what you mean by the "telling the reader" bit. I would say that it's more Anon musing to himself but I'll keep that in mind going forward.
>Your dialogue is not the best. It feels a bit like a grade schooler wrote the conversations between the characters.Would you mind going into detail? Maybe even give an example?
>I hope I’m not sounding too harsh,It's fine, I can tell it's coming from an honest place,
even if the dialog criticism isn't the most diplomatic. Thanks for reading.
