>>36321531Thanks for the feedback! At one point, I did have more of a plot (and you can see some traces of it still in the fic), but I ended up axing most of it. The end result is not perfect, but I'm glad to hear at least the action worked.
Letting the character shine throught narration is a persistent problem of mine I'll have to work on, and I'm taking advice on how to improve.
>>36324346You are absolutely right. Please write this fic
