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How do you cope with the fact that your oshi will never know or care that you even exist? She might read your comment, say your name from a sc, but at the end of the day you'll be forgotten in the next 5 minutes.
It doesn't matter how much you donate, how much you defend her on random boards or how much you "moderate" her chat, she will never care. No amount of effort from your part can change this.
I'm sad.