>>71865481If I only decided to draw when I felt in the mood for it then I would never draw ever again. I do not enjoy doing anything. For years I forced myself into not having internet six days a week and most of the time I would just procrastinate by laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling for hours and hours until I felt so bored that I'd just force myself to go to bed. I still do this all the time. I have games to play and anime to watch and plenty of things to do but I don't want to do any of it. This isn't a recent phenomenon. I've been this way my entire life. And now I'm getting older and have accomplished nothing because of this problem of being unable to enjoy anything. The only time in my life I've ever felt happy to do things was for a few months when I was taking prescriptions stimulants, but I can't really take them because my family has a history of bad hearts and I was already showing signs of heart problems. I often feel like I'm not really fit for this world.
