>>83312120It's okay.
It felt like it was going to come together at some point but like, it never did.
For lack of a better word, this felt... 'formulaic'.
In that it all went according to their character archetype, tropes? I don't know the exact words but it felt like it all went moving along rails that were expected for every character based off of expectations of what they would be in a dark serious universe.
The religious bent for theming didn't really do much for this, though I guess that's mostly because the mumei 'twist' wasn't really that big of a punch for what that scene was meant to feel.
If I had to compliment something, I did at least enjoy your prose. It was actually quite compelling, making the journey and flashbacks a joy to read through, unfortunately this did also contribute to my disappointment that the plot never came together to make an interesting end to this.
Overall, it's on the cusp of being great but falls just short of it.
>Ame did JFKheh
Did you also write that Ame fighting alternate universe Ame fic from a couple of weeks back? I don't think it was archived but this fic definitely reminded me of that one. Especially since they're both kind of ' good fics that lacked one last push to becoming great due to one aspect of their plot'. 