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I love him so much. Every day is a waiting game until I see him again. I cannot wait until I wake up tomorrow and his stream will be in just a few hours, letting me spend some of my pathetic daily hours next to him, listening to his voice. The amount of comfort I get from just his existence and presence will always surprise me. My diary is now full of little notes about a smile and a laugh he gifted to me that day. I'm just really happy that I got to meet him, that I didn't quit vtubers as a hobby until he came around, and I was so close to doing that too...
I know I am not doing well mentally , but I honestly, truly don't care. I find it really reassuring that there are their people who found salvation through their oshi. It is also why I can't bring myself to dislike anyone in nijien, I know that there is probably a person with feelings just like mine. And I love those people too, in a different way, but still.