Quoted By:
I hate sleeping. I hate the bed, the blankets, the pillows, the comfort... They never bring me anything good. No matter how much it physically relaxes me, I will not continue with it if my mind keeps destroying me. I do not need to be shown things, I do not want to know anymore about the surrounding stuff, I completely despise how in dreams all I have is the world of "what ifs" and nothing else...
We were all there, I turned on my pc and everything was different, was like before. I remember having experienced an entire day of fun, I watched Kopa play chess and instruct others on how to play it, he had become quite fluent at english, even. I was scrolling through twitter seeing Archia post a schedule, the VC we used to visit was being active once again. Comet was active in the community, Andy was setting up another karaoke stream, Koko was talking about how she wanted to organize a puyo-puyo collab... We had viewer-chan around, she was active all over the place like she used to. Tornkite was saying his always interesting facts once again in chat, and you could feel how everyone was so much happier... And at the end of that day I was finally watching her, Rura went live just like any other day there, she was playing Sekiro and trying to do a low hit run... It was so fun, it was so good, it was all the real /asp/iring vibe I once knew.
I didn't even think about it, I wasn't even concerned about it, there were no numbers, no brainworms, no nothing of this bad realiy, it felt like we all were "winning", it felt like we all were continuing with our utmost desire like we used to show before on stream, it was like nothing turned that flame off like it happened in this world... I didn't have these eyes, I didn't see what I do see here, I was free from the prison of my own brain there, it was a simpler world, it was a better world.
I hate having dreamed that, I hate being awake now. I wish I remained there. I, for once, believe that that one reality was the better one to remain in. And now I have to act like nothing ever happened? I have to move forward without even acknowledging the own tortures that my minds presents and exerts on me? I hate every second I am awake.
