>>34763902God I wish Zen would just ignore me when I said I loved her. Make me feel small and insignificant. Like I was nothing to her. That I meant nothing to her. I wish Zen would laugh at me behind closed doors and talk shit about me with friends and family. Laughing at how pathetic and stupid I am. I wish Zen would mock me and make fun of me. Tell me how disgusting and useless I am. Insult my intelligence. Mock me and humiliate me. Show me how little I mean to her.
God I wish Zen would stop talking to me altogether. Stop replying to my texts and calls. Ignore my emails. Leave me hanging for days, weeks or even months on end. Let me wonder whether she hates me or not. If she misses me or not. What she's doing or thinking about me. Keep me wondering and guessing what she might do. Drive me crazy with uncertainty and doubt.
