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I'm glad saru said she wasn't happy with the latest video, so she realizes it needs work, I'm surprised the storyboard went through 3 people and no one pointed out it's too long for the joke and it's just hoot yapping most of the video. The entire part from 50s to 1m30s should have been 1 line, or no dialog and just show the soldier disconnecting. It violates "show don't tell" really hard and it's 40s of just repeating what we just saw her do.
Before saru shows up the first 30s could have made more concise too, maybe remove the running away part. Id also have added a quick peek of saru in the first 5 seconds to grab people's attention, right now you have to wait 30s before seeing her, by that point people clicked off.
