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No matter how much you love your oshi, your love will always be one sided.
You can make the most elaborate plans about your relationship with her. You can plan out your dates, your proposal, your interactions and family, but it will always be a dream.
You will never touch her, you will never see her bright smile in-front of you as the heat from her body radiates towards you. You will never be intoxicated by her smell and her gentle voice. She will never be emotional as you express your feelings and she will never express the same towards you.
All you will do is continue watching her. Dive deeper into loving her, thinking about her from the moment you wake up, to the last second of your consciousness before you sleep. You will continue thinking on how to make her happy, how amazing she is, how perfect she is and she...Well, she does love her fanbase as a whole, but you? If you disappeared right now, and you never watched her stream she wouldnt even notice. She would continue to smile, to laugh, to cry, to sing her heart out, she would continue to do all the amazing things you love her for. All without you. You don't fit anywhere in the equation. The best you can do is pay her money and hope she reads your message, maybe. Or draw something and get the same treatment many other people just like you get. Nothing special that only you and her would have. You can say that things are different with you. Your goal is to marry her no matter what, but you know the truth. You know it will never happen and after multiple years you will continue to be alone. As for her...Well, i'm sure she'll make a great mother, but not for your bloodline.
